Family: Antifamily - SACRIFICE & ENTITLEMENT
Sacrifice vs Entitlement
Women LEARN The Hard Way What Pushes MEN AWAY
TRANSCRIPT
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So, I have mentioned this before and I'm going to mention it again. I think that
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as women, we need more older women as role models, which I know is a controversial take and you know, little
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girls don't want to look up to, you know, older ladies. They want to look up to young pretty ladies, but seriously, I
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I think we've got a lot to learn. And I mean the kind of women that actually want to teach you useful things, not
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jealous, bitter older women that did everything wrong and then think that gives them some qualification to tell
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you how to live your life. Hey, it's Christine Grace. Welcome back to my channel. Today is another reaction video. Like the video on your way in.
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Let's get straight into it. So, this video was sent over to me by one of you lovely people. Thank you very much. And
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it's called The Biggest Mistakes Women Make with Men That Pushes Them Away. And it's from the Laya Rose Show. Now, the
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whole episode is obviously over on Laya Rose's channel. I I don't think I've actually reacted to her show on my
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channel before. Um, I've seen clips from it. I know obviously who Laya Rose is and what she's about. So, yeah, we're
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going to check it out together. Um, she's interviewing uh a lady called Allison Armstrong who is a relationship
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expert. I've seen a lot of her uh clips coming out of the Chris Will podcast, which is a podcast that I do actually
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watch a lot of. Um, so yeah, I'm intrigued to check this out. I know of
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Allison Armstrong, and I'm always intrigued to hear what she has to say. So, let's check some bits out together.
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Against them, I would I became better at attacking them and manipulating them
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because of what I'd learned about them. And Ellen called me at Ending Hunger Orange
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County, which is the organization I was the head of, um, and said, "Allison, men
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are attracted to you like bees to honey, and when you're done with them, it's as
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if they've been with a vampire." Wow. I'm like, "Little old me." And she
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proceeded to tell me about every time she'd seen me emasculate a man, diminish
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a man, take the wind out of his sales. Every time. What did that look like? Because, and the reason I've got to ask
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this is I think most women don't even know when they're emasculating a man.
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Yeah. They wouldn't think they're emasculating a man at all.
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Can I point out the two tracks real quick? Yes, I'm sorry. Yeah, please. No, cuz they go together. So
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all the things we do to try to get a man to love us,
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we don't have to. And it even gets in the way because men already love us.
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We don't have to work to get them to love us. If we stop diminishing them, if
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we stop disempowering them, if we stop making it harder for them to produce the results that they've got to produce,
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that's what gets in the way. the the love part they they grant that they're they are born adoring their
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mothers looking into those eyes
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and it's the it's the misunderstanding begins by about the time they're one and
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years old like my grandson's one and a half. So it's we don't have to work to
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be loved. They love us and just if if you let that in, right? If you let that
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in and could Yes. Are there bad men? Very bad men. Yes. And there are very
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bad women too. But the rest are born and
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stay loving women. They love us. They need us. And they're not trying to not
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need us. Now, there's some groups way over in the edge now of men trying to
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not need women, but it's because they've had the same kind of frustration and
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getting what they need from us. But normal, ordinary,
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born loving women, born wanting to protect women, born wanting to provide
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for women. This is what I often notice about the feminist narrative is that it's based on the presumption that men
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are inherently evil. And I always criticize it because I
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think do you not have one dude that you like? Like not one. Now I know obviously
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there's going to be unfortunate cases out there where there are women who who that is the case for them,
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but most women like no. You've dated a few guys where it hasn't turned out
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ideal. Maybe you've been hurt, but surely you have a dad, an uncle, a grandfather. Like, you believe they're
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inherently evil, too. It's just crazy to me. But it goes right because they protect
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us the way they see that we need to be protected, and that can make us really
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angry. I can do that myself, right? So, we have a reaction to what they perceive needs
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to be protected about us, which is another thing to align on in a marriage.
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Honey, this this is what I need to be protected from. Mostly, we need to be protected from ourselves, from the
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See, this is why I love this lady because she's right. She's right. And so many women don't want to admit this and
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they want to think that, you know, it's always the men hurting us. But the reality is we hurt ourselves. You know,
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we fought for sexual liberation and empowerment and what do we do? We become online We sell ourselves for
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money. You know, we wanted all of this stuff. We wanted to go out, work, be in
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the workplace, and now look, we're all off our face on meds and miserable. You
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know, we wanted freedom to reproductive healthcare. What do we do? We murder our
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offspring. So, she's right. She's absolutely spot on. critical voice in our own heads
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that pipes up whenever he doesn't act the way we expect him to. Well, that's because he doesn't love you and he doesn't love you because you're too
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this, you're not enough that, right? So, it's we need to be protected from that.
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So, if someone accepted their men love me,
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there's no scarcity of love. I am loved.
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That changes a whole life. That changes how you be in the world. And one of the
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things that's most important about that is we're either on the offense. We're mostly most women are on the offense
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with men or on the defense with men. Both of them cause mischief. If we could
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neither be on the offense, attacking like I was, or defensive,
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prove it to me. Show me. Right. If we could be just in the middle. open. Who
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are you? Who are you? And how much do you want to know who I am? Really?
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Oh. Oh, we can begin. And then there's what I call due diligence, especially
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for picking a mate. We say the M word too soon and the D word too soon.
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There's marriage.
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She said mate, so it threw me off. so much we need to get to know about each other to see if we fit and I learned
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this from men actually started asking men you do you want to be married almost
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all of them said yes but they never left out the sentence afterwards the
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qualifier when I meet the right person if I meet the right person to the right
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person hopefully I'll meet the right person so I listen very carefully.
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Right? So, I started asking the question, what makes a woman the right person for you to marry?
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There were there are 12 things on the list that make a person the right person
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to marry and none of them are love. Nobody said love. I love her. That
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that's just that was the given. That was just that's the easy part. Loving women is not scarce to them. So, they don't
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have to find a woman to love. They find a woman who
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they can Oh boy.
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I I warned Harris that this happens that every question has at least five ways to go.
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Men commit differently than women. Men men pick up the whole package.
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So they start by looking. They're looking for a woman with complimentary
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strength. They are looking for strength and they see a woman that's really, really,
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really strong, but they don't need to be duplicated. And they don't want to be duplicated. They want to be admired for
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the ways that they're strong that you aren't. And the only reason they want to be admired by you is because they admire
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you. It's not because they think so little. We want to be admired by the people we admire. So men scan for
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complimentary strength. It's it's in their nature. They do it all the time. We do it too for a different reason, but
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they do it. It's like they're always filling a team or looking for a partnership. And
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and and then when they find it and oh, she likes me. That's one of the
12
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things. She likes me. Did our parents pay Did your mother teach you to look
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for men you liked? Mine didn't.
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I I was taught to look for beautiful men, handsome, strong, rich. Do you know
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that's that's a good point. That is a very good point. That's with the imprint imprint back in
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the 70s. So still is in a lot of ways. You mean instead of men you like
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if they need to check a box? It never even 100% we know that that's true now. I mean just take a look at one of the many
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thousands of street interviews there are out there. You will get a direct data pool of young women, you know, fertile
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aaged women saying what they look for in a man. And it's never I like him. It's
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never we get along, you know. It's never I
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enjoy being around him. It's physical attributes. It's hypergamous things.
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It's Yeah. It's never just I like him. Someone I like
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showed up. Do you like him? Educated. Do you like him? Yes. It never even showed up. Do you
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like him? What do you like about him? And like when women are like, oh, I'm so in love with him and oh, and the
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chemistry is amazing. And I'm like, okay. And do you like him? What do you mean? Do I like him? Well, if you were
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to have children, would you hope they would be like he is because you prefer how he is? Huh? What? We're not taught
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to think of these things. But one of the things that makes a woman the right person is she likes me. Another is she
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doesn't emasculate me too much.
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Wow. The bar is on the floor. Yes. and too much changes.
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Men in their 30s, for example, will put up with a heck of a lot more emasculation than a man in his 50s. What
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we call the stages of development. A prince, highly adaptable, although he'll
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be really upset with himself for betraying himself. A king, no, kings have very low tolerance for
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emasculation. They'd rather be alone than to be diminished by a woman. So being liked
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which includes being accepted. And so when a man is looking for a partner, he's looking for those complimentary
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strengths. And then okay, what goes with this?
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And when he chooses her and we feel it in our bodies before they ever say, "Will you marry me?" We can feel when
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they have picked up the whole package. We feel safe. We feel loved and we feel
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safe. And it's because they have they have they have accepted the stuff that
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goes with what they value about you the most. That that's just part and parcel. And if one of their friends says, "Oh,
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but she's so that's just how she is." And he's he's not out to change it. Even
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though it might hurt him, even though it might be irritating, even I think the onus of responsibility is always on the individual. You know, it's
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that saying of if you're going to marry someone, you need to be well aware that everything you don't like about them is
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going to get worse. And I I definitely think that's true in most cases. Um I also think it's true that you're never
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going to like everything about someone and you're always going to have to take the bad with the good. You know, at the
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same time, I also think that it is each of our individual responsibilities to be aware of what parts of us are
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potentially hurting those that we love and care about and to actively and continuously work on those things. I
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don't believe in the mindset of that's just how I am. Um, this is my personal take. You are absolutely free to debate
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me on this in the comments, but I believe that you shouldn't be going
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through life expecting someone to just take you as you are. You shouldn't go
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through life just hoping that someone is going to accept you as you are. Um because me personally, I I don't want
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someone who is just going to accept me as I am. you know if I have got bad
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habits or if I am not looking after myself I don't want someone to just
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accept me for how I am. I want someone to actively encourage me to be better
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you know not even necessarily strong encouragement but I I want someone to be able to say like I don't think this is
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good for you. You know I I want to be with someone that wants the best for me and encourages me to want the best for me. Um, I also think that it's your
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responsibility as a human being to be aware of your flaws. And, you know, it
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makes a huge difference just being aware of them. You know, I don't want someone to feel that they have to put up with
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things that make them uncomfortable. Um, you know, I want them to know that if
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something makes you uncomfortable that they are with someone that recognizes that recognizes that and is actively
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working on, you know, amending that situation. Now, of course, we're all human beings. It's not going to happen
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overnight. So, of course, there might be a period, a long period, maybe the whole relationship, maybe the whole
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relationship, that bad part of you that rubs the other person up the wrong way, never really goes away, but you are
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working on it. That's my thing is that you should always actively be working on bettering yourself in whatever way that
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is. you know, if it's breaking a bad habit, if it's, you know, cutting out, I
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don't know, drink, alcohol, gambling, whatever it may be,
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anything it is. If it's learning how to speak in a way that isn't emasculating
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or learning how to make someone feel loved and appreciated, like whatever it is, I just think you you're always
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supposed to be working on that. You know, life has an end. We're not here forever. So, you might as well use that
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time actively trying to be the best you can. Um so yeah I don't I don't
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quite agree with this idea of take me as I am and you know accept me for as I am
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but I do believe in the concept of love and that you can love someone and you
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know you can put up with the things that perhaps aren't ideal for the sake of the
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things that are really really great and you don't want to risk losing but at the same time I think there is also an onus
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of responsibility on the individual just as there would be on you to consistently work on those things that you know due
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to human nature and just time could get worse and to try and not let them you
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know even if they don't even if you can just stop the things from getting worse even if you can't just necessarily make
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them better if you can stop them from getting worse that's an achievement in itself because as we established earlier you know that most people the things
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that you don't like about them with age and time are going to get worse So, if you can even just slow that process down
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a little bit, um I think you're doing your part. But that's just that's just my personal take. I'm not saying that
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everyone has to adapt that world view. That's just how I feel about the whole um you know, accept me as I am type
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mentality. Though it might trip him up, he's not going to try to change it. He bought the
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package. And yesterday with Ellen and Andrew, the
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question was, "What do men don't know about women?" And many of the things were men don't know what women don't
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know about them. That's men don't know what women don't
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know about men. Men don't know what women ah okay I get it. One of the most important things for men which is why I
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love they can they can do our understanding men workshop in person. It was only for women. men get to watch it
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online and be my students and learn what women don't know about men and they find out all these things they didn't know
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about themselves. So, here's the thing, just to finish that one. Women don't buy
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the whole package. And it we actually need to do it intentionally. And if I
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ever took on being a a marriage counselor, which I sometimes end up being like that
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in odd ways because I interact with my students a lot. Um,
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we commit one acceptance at a time. One
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H. That's how he is. H, that's what he needs. H, that works better for him.
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Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
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I've known women who had wedding ceremonies 30 years ago and there's
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hardly anything about their husband they have accepted. They're still trying to change him at
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his core. They're trying to change who he is, which is expressed in what he
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values, what's worth his time and energy. And they're trying to change what he
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spends his time and energy on. No, that that feeds him. It it feeds him. That's
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why he does it, cuz it feeds him. You want him to not be fed or they accept it in a dismissive and uh resigned way.
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That's not acceptance. Not acceptance. Let's put up with Let's be resigned to it. Not acceptance.
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And that creates hostility in a marriage. Oh my gosh. It's very uh dark. A dark energy that
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brings it. Yes. That's a good word for it. It's and if only it was dark and still, but
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it's so damaging. It's it's it's cancerous.
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anywhere from a full-on assault to just a cancer eating away, eating away, eating away when I want to change you.
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Why can't women, some women feel like they can get a man to marry them basically that they like or that they
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love? And then there's, you know, conversely, the women that are married that are thinking, he was not the man I
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married. Like, where's the romance? Where's the love? Where's the attention, the care? Mhm. And I think that a core principle you're
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sharing here which is so powerful is that men when they marry they don't go
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into the marriage you know ready to they've already accepted the whole package.
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Yes. But women go into the marriage and they're not necessarily aware of what they're marrying. I mean it's I think
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what you're what you're getting at here is we don't understand these people we're marrying. we don't or
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the people we're dating. And so what happens is is we either marry them somehow and then we don't understand
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them and there's these chronic issues in the relationship that make us unhappier and unhappier and unhappier and drive us
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apart. Or if we're dating, we just can't get to the marriage state because we are just not really we're we're we're maybe
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um uh emasculating them in a way we don't even realize or we're turning them off after just a few months. You know,
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we become the vampire as opposed to the princess. And and so some of these core things about understanding men
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what is it that you think would be the key things then that a woman has to understand if she's going to properly
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love I'm intrigued to know your guys's thoughts um obviously majority of you being dudes like do you think this stuff
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is accurate? Is this conversation funny to you? Like I don't know. I'm intrigued
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to hear your thoughts. A man and be loved by one and be loved by a man.
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men and women. And there's some is she in here, okay?
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Because especially as our hormones change, as women age, we become more
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focused on producing results, more oriented that way. We can become
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more focused. But in general, estrogen will produce a diuse awareness in women.
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To men, we appear bit scattered. Put a man on estrogen, he knows exactly
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how he got that way. Our brains are configured
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to scan for safety. Am I safe? Am I safe? Am safe? Are we safe? Are we safe?
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No matter what we're doing, there's part of us that's paying attention to safety.
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That is not true for men. single focus has them pay attention to
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what am I going to produce next? What is there to do next? What am I producing next and next and next? First
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things first, not the multitasking that Dus awareness has us do. So
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understanding that then we can start to reach towards each
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other to communicate better because anyone focused on productivity
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their communication is going to be for the purpose of productivity. Hand me that. Go do that now. Give me
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that. Is that done yet? It's all organized around productivity
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for women as a physically smaller and weaker gender, which we're profoundly
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aware of in ways that men don't even know and and they've cried when I've illuminated it
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for them. We feel safe when we feel connected,
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especially to the people we perceive as strong. So like they're scanning for
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complimentary strength. We're scanning for are you strong enough to protect me?
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Are you strong enough to provide for me? Are you strong enough to make strong children with me? So, we're scanning for
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that strength. But behind it is a fear that if we're not connected, if I don't
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feel like we're connected, you're going to use that strength against me.
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So, I have to keep trying to make sure we have this feeling of connection to
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know that, you know, I'm here and you're going to save me from the tiger, whatever the tiger is today, even the
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one in my head. So, we're we're like on auto redial to connect and connect and
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connect. And it causes problems. It causes
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problems because they're single focused. try connecting with a wall
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and it could be an interruption. It is being like connect and they're just like yes
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yes and they this is why I would call we say we have a opposing instincts that
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that do you seek security and productivity? Oh yeah, we got her done. We got her done. We nailed it. Yes. Or
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are you looking for the feeling of safety in connectivity in connection?
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So, a man, for example, since we're talking in that way, um,
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being productive, be hunting the deer, hunting the deer, hunting the deer. Oh, yeah. Okay, we're getting it. Oh, that's
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the problem. Identify the problem. Identifying the problem is is a huge success, which is why they listen the
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way that they do to us when we're upset. What's the problem? What's the problem? What's the problem? So, identifying a problem is being productive. Then coming
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up with a solution is being productive. And then we interrupt them to get the
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feeling of connection back. Hi honey. Text. We call. We open the home office
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door. Hi honey. Hi. If they even lift their head. And
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then we went to get connection. And she's so brilliant. like she's so
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emotive and yeah, she's just really explaining it in
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a way that I feel is accurate. Our attempt to connect was rejected and
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now I'm even less safe than I was before. He's mad at me. No, he's mean. Is he he's mean or is he mad at me or
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why why didn't he look up? Was it cuz what I said to him this morning and we spin out.
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Yeah, we do that. We spin out trying to figure out the why, but we don't come up with accurate
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answers because we answer our why questions with why a woman would have done that.
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Wow. And that's Yeah. For the drama, all the unnecessary drama
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comes in. Yes. because they're reacting the way we would have or or that bad best friend
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that hurt us or whatever that woman that whatever. And it's not even
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not the male experience. Yeah. Sorry. It's not just even that we think it. We're sure of it and we'll
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tell them you did this because of that. No, I didn't.
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And they turn around and walk away. Why are you walking away? And if he were to articulate say because
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this isn't worth doing, you can't hear me. I can't be heard. I can't win here.
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And isn't that just, you know, the perfect micromanifestation of what's going on at a greater level?
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Men have walked away from dating. Why? Because of this stuff. Because of this
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stuff. This is a waste of time and energy. They just shut up.
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when they can't be heard, they just shut up. And there's so much about them we never
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see or know because they're we don't listen long enough and we're sure we're right. I mean, there's a a joke. The
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man's alone in the woods and he speaks. Is he still wrong?
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Yeah. Yeah. So in all likelihood, a woman who's struggling even to get to the
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point to have a marriage where now he becomes different and there's a good reason why he becomes different. He will
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become different the moment you say yes. The moment he decides you're the one and
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you agree, he will change because because they buy the whole package. When
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you say yes, he's now married. He's now married. He's just been upgraded to husband 1.0. He's going to function with
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the accountabilities of 1.0. It starts now. When's the wedding? I don't know.
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She's dealing with that. But he's being a husband before the wedding. The wedding's for the community, for the
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friends, for the fun, for her. He's already a husband, which means he has holds himself to new standards and new
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territory. It's my job now to protect you from that. I watched you struggle with that
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the whole time we were dating. Now I'm going to protect you from it cuz you're mine and this is my job. And so they
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change. They really do change when they pick us and we agree. They change. Their
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accountabilities expand. And if we aren't supporting them in what
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they're being accountable for, they have to stay in protect energy. and protect
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energies like like lead protecting themselves in this case. No, you're even just working so hard to
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protect you. They have to go. You're saying they can't play with it's a stress now. Yeah, it's now a stress to protect you.
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Honey, you're wearing yourself out on the wedding. Honey, you're so tired. Honey, can you just let that go for now?
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Men need our vitality,
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our life force recharges their battery to go out there
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and be productive. So when we're tired, it's like having
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your charger. You can't plug in. She there's nothing to plug into. She's too tired. That's a
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really beautiful way of describing it. And it links to, you know, mythology as
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well. You know, if you've looked into sort of ancient mythology or any kind of philosophy, you'll often see like chaos
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referred to as feminine and order referred to as masculine. And often the
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kind of story goes that order comes from chaos, but like chaos is the part in
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which it comes from. And obviously you can see the similarities there in
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childbirth. You know the the the child is born of a woman and the man provides
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order to that child's life. So it's really quite beautiful the way that she's putting it. And it really does
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again go back to feminism. Feminism has not made women more full of life. It's
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drained us. It's put us to work. It's made us productive. It's made us tired,
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you know. So, how that's going to create further divide between the sexes because
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how are men going to get charged when the women have been sort of
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stripped away from that life force? So, where are the men going to get it? Cuz the men are supposed to get it from us
31:05
and we can't give it to them because we don't have it either. Like everything has just been sort of surgically
31:11
removed um by design. Um, and now we're all trying to find a way
31:18
back to the source, but it starts with women. This is why I often say to you guys, I know the majority of you of you
31:24
are guys, but that's not where my, you
31:29
know, everything I say is is not for you guys because I I'm I'm a woman. We have a different life experience. I can only
31:36
tell you what I think, but I can't give you advice. I can't tell you what I think you ought to be doing or how you
31:43
ought to be doing things because I just can't understand that the things I say it's it's to women. It's to women
31:49
because I genuinely believe that we have so much to offer and it's all just been
31:54
kind of, you know, stripped of us, given up, whichever way you want to look at it. We've lost it. And
32:02
this is why at the start of the video I said, you know, I think we need these older mentors who seem to really get it.
32:09
Um because they have the experience. They have the experience. I mean, and this lady, I don't know how old she is.
32:14
She mentioned that she was around in the 70s, so let's just say she's at least 50. She's full of life. I mean, yeah, she's
32:21
got gray hair. She's certainly, you know, got a few wrinkles, but she's beautiful. Like, guys, correct me if I'm
32:28
wrong here, but she's a very attractive lady. She's full of life. She's full of that energy.
32:37
And yet I know women probably, you know,
32:42
half if not a quarter of her age who are older in spirit than what she is
32:48
showing. So yeah, I think that the real
32:54
way to battle feminism and the current divide between the sexes is the men are already doing what they do best. The men
33:00
are already being productive. Uh, you know, whatever way you want to look at that, the men are bettering themselves.
33:05
They're going to the gym. They're creating communities. They're starting businesses. Or they've gone the other way. They've looked at the problem
33:11
logically and gone, "Well, I'm done with women." Which even that you could argue is productivity in itself. They're not
33:17
wasting their time on something that they don't think is going to work. You know, that's your prerogative.
33:23
But women, it's like it takes two to tango. And the only way to solve this problem is if both parties are taking accountability for what they can offer.
33:31
and women aren't seemingly taking the accountability for what we have to offer. And I think it's women like this
33:36
who are speaking very frankly and also like emotionally. That's how you're going to connect with women. You're
33:42
going to connect emotionally. This is why I've mentioned before, you know, the approach of just telling of girls that
33:48
they're Like yeah, factual, true, but women aren't like men. That's not going to actually evoke some kind of
33:53
change. But a woman like this who's much more emotional about it, sure, she's going to piss off a lot of feminists,
33:58
but there's going to be some women out there that start to reconsider things and realize what I'm saying. Like, hang
34:04
on this, hang on a minute. This woman's a lot older than me, but yet she's youthful. She glows. She's happy. She's
34:11
energetic. She's bubbly. Why aren't I like that? That's just what I think. Why not? Let
34:17
me know what you think in the comments section below. I'm really intrigued to read your thoughts on this one, guys. I think this lady's great. I'm definitely
34:23
going to watch the rest of this podcast um in private. It's too long to do in a
34:28
video on here, but you should definitely go check it out if you can. Her name is Allison Armstrong. I really like what she has to say. But I'm a woman, so you
34:37
know, if you're a woman, you have a different take. Please let me know. I know the majority of you are guys, so
34:42
I'm intrigued to hear what you think. Do you think she's right about these things? Do you think she's wrong about these things? Especially in her
34:49
interpretation of men. Um, as far as I'm concerned as a woman, I think she's pretty spot on. Um, I understand that
34:55
there's going to be a lot of women that disagree with that, but for me, I think despite that, she's still right about women. But as for guys, I don't know.
35:02
You guys tell me. I look forward to seeing what you have to say. As always, if you like this video, please do give it a thumbs up on your way out. Be sure
35:08
to subscribe to the channel and hit that notification bell to keep up to date with all of my content. If you'd like to join my private WhatsApp community, you
35:14
can do that by clicking the link in the description. Or if you'd just like to donate to the channel, the links are also down below. And on that note, I
35:20
will see you very soon in the next one, guys. Take care.
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One of the important aspects of this, but not one that is normally thought about, is the relationship of scale. Local can mean something that, in addition to not normally being thought about, is actually hard to develop the picture and concept of in one's mind.
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